Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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