how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
