I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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