i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
