it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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