Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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