She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
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