How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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