do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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