My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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