sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
meet me or not, i'm out of control
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
