I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
you made out with another girl for some wings
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
