with your own penis?
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
