oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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