1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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