I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
