I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
