I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
