she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I need water and some morals
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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