her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
