as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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