yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
