"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Randomize
