think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
