So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
