then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
