so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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