so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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