i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
We had to coat check the pizza.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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