i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
