dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
