just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
