im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
