New invention idea: vibrating tampons
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
