TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
is that a dick in a sweater?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
