Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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