Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
