ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Sorry my hands just texted you
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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