Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
