so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Two words: blizzard sex
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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