So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
People in love make me want to vomit
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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