is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
