i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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