so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
