I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
