I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
