Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
