if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
