hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
