Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
