i just google imaged poop.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
